LuvDoraemonAndTaiwanDramas XD

2012-02-08T21:12:00.002+08:00

oh my. almost bao xue guan. suddenly you are telling me everything is boring. i really feel that i dont know you anymore. everything that i knew was "last time". maybe i should really consider going to somewhere else...

or maybe. it's 'cause you met the same kind so you showed your true colours.

2012-02-07T17:53:00.002+08:00

wowwwww. so long never blog le >.< loll. ahhhhh. ok short post. :\

1. it was really really really hard to make a decision. i really wanted to go. and i already brought my file and cca stuff. but i was all alone. i would feel so bad if i didnt go. but i thought of going home to revise since tests are coming in a week's time :X ok this sounds ironic now since im blogging and not revising -.- but i will revise. urgh. thats why sometimes i really hope we could be like them. so bonded. but it's not possible. quite tired of this situation already. haiz. selfishness. and she just reminded me again that i cant leave because im the only one left. yes i love my instrument. but i think i want to run away from all these more.

2. and i guess. i will really miss them loads. but it's kind of good that im leaving, 'cause i cant seem to fit in... i still feel weird whenever i step into the room. 2 more sessions with them. and i would be gone. i dont dare to hope that someone there would actually think of me since she left (:() but it would be nice if someday they ask me to join their camp... i hope so. :\

i already told myself to focus on studies. but there are too many other things for me to think about. D: FOCUS. >:(

i love school! i love going to school everyday :) but when i come home i just feel so so tired and i really think that life is turning suckish. pw has not started yet, so i cant conclude that my life sucks. haha. jc lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

FIGHTING! >:)

<3 estha.

confused.lost. broken.

2012-02-02T20:30:00.004+08:00

yes. i have no time for this but.

im in a dilemma. my life is half screwed 'cause of it and i got no solutions. i cant do anything. i hate myself for thinking so much but i really dont know what to do.
laughing at my stupidity. it's foolish to say this now, but i really wish i took another path. maybe. but as i said, it's foolish to say this now as everything is just like that. nothing can be done. only i can make my life better. but i really dont know what to do. im really hoping some random person can pop out and help. haiz.

do you ever understand how it feels like when someone you used to stick with is ignoring you for someone else? it doesn't affect you because you can still lead your life happily. but have you ever tried to think for me? im like an abandoned kid. lost. i can run away and i cant face it. my life in cca is screwed.

on a happier note, i understood econs! :) it's like a miracle!!! OMGGG ^^ haha. time to work hard for studies if not i would really screw my life :( okie. positive attitude!!!!!! FIGHTING SPIRIT!!!!! Jia Ying can do it ^^

she can be brave and go on, she can.

i dont know if im self-assuring.

2012-01-31T20:34:00.003+08:00

the awkward moment when we were crying so hard but you realise there's no time for you to cry because you have GP, bio, math, chem, econs homework to do...

life is really sad like that. because when you finally can cry and let off everything bottling inside your heart, at those things that are behind your smiles, reality tells you: hey you have no time.

sad life.

i think i really went crazy haha.

anw. the person who had been telling you to be more selfish now tells you to put yourself in other people's shoes when you are just a little more selfish. yes. thinking for other people. what about me?
many things left unsaid...

anyway. from now on i will make sure im happier each day :) <3

2012-01-26T16:46:00.002+08:00

was quite horrified upon hearing it. LOL. 'cause i know how im like already then i started to have the "stay away from me!!" mentality LOL :X im really scared >.< so i hope nothing will happen for the next 1yr+++ :\ like omggggg. i dont want 歷史重演~ i wont die but. i would be messed up again -.- OMGGG D:

and i did quite a good job today i guess. making the first step :) making the effort again... just hope nothing happens during cca... :\ 'cause actually nothing happens when there's no cca LOL :S i hope so. please. im trying already...

AND FINALLY. TAIWAN. IM COMINGCOMINGCOMING <3 ^^ wheeeee~ am so high. and perhaps this is the only thing that can save everything... i hope so :\ pleaseeee.....

and i found my new budbud today! ^^ LOL. that's my new word for buddy :P HAHA. EE MIN!!!!! :) omgggg she's like so nice never xian qi me cause i run slower then slowed her down >.< plus she keep saying jiayou then i was so touched!!! haha. and in the end i really did it ^^ wooo~ mr tan said we had quality workout or something! LOL. so i guesss WHEEEE :D GOOD JOB EE MIN GOOD JOB ME! haha. yayy~ my pe budbud ^^

2012-01-26T16:39:00.001+08:00

what if someday i told you i wont be here anymore? would you hold my hand and tell me not to go?

520th post :D

2012-01-25T22:06:00.002+08:00

haha. 520. got meaning de worh~ ^^ LOL. anyway. i dont have any love stuffs to talk about >.< LOL. but anyway...........

yes. have realy been so busy :X omggg :( ahhhh. i cant blogg!! and the school closed down the very good wireless D: now i have no access to internet! >:( IM UPSET. ohss talking about upset.. i just talked to my sis about it. upset is totally different from unhappy! unhappy means you are not happy but doesnt mean you are upset!! LOL. :O so i shall just use upset now. haha. using it too much though >.< omgggg :( MEANS THAT I HAVE BEEN UPSET ABOUT MANY THINGS?! yupp i guess so :\

i dont know if im really running away from it. or im really lost. but some things ought to be done soon. yes. i shall complete it asap... :X i dont know if i can really remain calm after that. no idea... trying to pretend. act blur live longer by mr wong!! LOL :) yupp. acting blur. i should start doing that to certain things.. pretend you dont know and pretend that they dont exist.. maybe my life would be better.

trying to enjoy everyday of my life!! although some things make me not enjoy cca that much when cca days are supposed to be my happiest days... but i know i can change that. if i try. if i can muster the courage to put in the effort again. if im not afraid of breaking down when im disappointed about certain things.

time to organise my thoughts. but i dont have time to do it. or maybe i just cant manage my time well.. :\ i need to settle my thoughts soon. before more things happen.

2012-01-24T23:07:00.002+08:00

Yes. It's so hurting when your effort becomes a joke at the end. When you thought it was an effort to show that you care. Apparently it turned out as a joke. Okie. another example of how I think some things are worth doing for our friendship and you don't see it this way. Severe case of different perspectives because now I realised I was really acting like a fool to you when you don't give a shit about my efforts. It's ok. Go ahead and laugh because I will never put in the same amount of effort again.

我不会再让你糟蹋我的用心。

It's not to late to burst my pretty little bubble about how I thought my actions show that I care.

HAPPY CNY! :)

2012-01-23T01:37:00.004+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY CNY!!! xDD had steamboat and sparkling juice just now YAYYYY ^^ wheee~ happy now ^^

BUT. still a little upset cause yang cheng lin is not coming YET >:( HUMPH. all those random people :( im upset!!!!! >.< haha. i hope she comes out soon~ i a bit cmi le :X and estha went to sleep le :( sadddddd. YANG CHENG LIN COME OUT!!!!!! >:)

BTW!!!
YESTERDAY 22Jan WAS 春到河畔!!! ^^ successful!!! :) just that for some reason we didn't perform at the time we were supposed to :( dont know what happened!! >.< anyway it was fun!!! :D had fun taking photosssss! XIAO QIIIIIIIII :P LOL. she totally fail in acting dao when she's not upset!! hee ^^ but poor mr wong sprained his ankle i think :X get well soon mr wong! <3 andand. i think we gan pai zi a bit >.< i think most co have this bad habit ba :X awww >.< haha.

ohhyess. there's one photo i MUST post her!!! :D wait uhh~ LOL in the end i decided to post 3 :P haha.

RAINBOW!!!!!!! xDD

rainbow 2 <3

fireworks!! ^^

and that day i was telling jinjing how rainbow clouds and stars make me happy! :) but i thought if i can really be happy just by looking them why do i feel so upset... :( maybe it's cause i dont see them often >.< i hope i meet a rainbow everyday <3 then i can be happy everyday ^^ stars also can :D and nicenice clouds!! :P haha. anyway. had an interesting convo with wen qiao LOL. hmmm.

anyway happy chinese new year!! im like. half dying over here 'cause im waiting for yang cheng lin but it doesnt seem like she's going to appear =.= haiz. stupid show cheat my feelngs! >:( I WANT LISTEN TO HER SONGS!!! >:( UPSET. HAHA. keep using upset nowadays >.< UPSETTTT. I WANT MY CHENG LINNNN D:

ohh another thing to be upset about. my horrible ulcer :( haiz. a result of metal scratching against my lip :( ouchhhhhh. sadddddd.

CNY + SCHOOL ANNIVERSARY CONCERT!

2012-01-20T20:04:00.002+08:00

yayy! concert ended :D but the curtain so qian bian!!!!! >:( 'cause it's like we made the effort to stay back and rehearsal on tues and thurs and the curtain refused to work today!!! :( humph. it didnt really affected us a lot though :) it was quite a success i guess! :) just that i made some mistakes... >.< i think the only time i didnt make any was during syf last year.. omggg :O but anyway it was a success luhh :D and had fun taking photos!!!! xDD LOVE YEAR 1 AND YEAR 2'08 BATCH!!!! <3 omggggggg screamssssssssss ^^ <3 but i told zhi ying i would condemn her if she dont join the concert >:( and i think i would really cry. humph.

sudden breakdown. really sudden. :O dont know why!!! if i was really genuine about it why did i behave that way... :X haiz. i wont pity myself anymore. i need to cherish myself more! :) to think i still told her i cant cry anymore.. but i did. urgh :\

*不能握的手，從此匿名的朋友。。。*

:)

2012-01-19T21:41:00.002+08:00

NO LONGER UPSET!!! YAYY ^^ taiwan trip <3 OMGGGG. YAYYYYYY xDD I REALLY HOPE THERE IS. IF NOT I WILL BE SO SO SO SO SO UPSET >:( when im already so upset nowadays... :X and my math change topic le.. so no more mr lim :( omgg sad. his voice keeps me awake :D LOL. HUMPH >:( I DONT WANT TO CHANGE LECTURER!!! :( *emo* yeaaa. OK IM SO UPSET NOW. LOL. :P UPSETTTTTT >:( OK. ENDING MY DAY BEING UPSET HUMPH :O

the only thing i can do now is. wish you all the best~ :) and wish that i really became stronger!

2012-01-18T22:10:00.002+08:00

today i was so so so upset. because fire drill was during math!!!! >:( SO UPSET. LOL.
HUMPHHHHHHHHH. I WANT MATH!!!! :( *UPSET* LOL.

ok i have no time again. :( zzz :( anw. just want to say. i realised something which is scary- silence that kills. because the person was someone who used to be so close to you. and although both of you didnt say anything, you know that it is coming to an end because of her actions. wow. silent communication~

and i did something very wrong just now. sorry. i should not have thought that students and teachers can be friends. there is still a gap.. somewhere.

happy schooooolll life :)

2012-01-17T21:49:00.002+08:00

AM SO UPSET NOW. nah. i didnt quarrel again. IM SO UPSET THAT I HAVE NO TIME NO TIME NO TIME TO BLOG ABOUT HOW I FEEL! >:( because the school doesnt have that free wireless anymore :( and i keep forgetting what i want to write :( ohhyeaa. initiation and my LAST YEAR(LOL) malaysia trip :O HAIZ. overdue stuffs :\ and i dont think i will post about them >.< OMGGG SADDD. D: anyway. school is quite ok for me now! :) just that today i suddenly brain dead during last 15min of biology lecture :X too tired T.T BUT I DIDNT SLEEP OK :) HEEE! YAYYYYYYYY. i hope i would never ever sleep during class! ^^ haha.

another case of different perspectives. yes clearly you are unwell. but that doesn't give you the right to lose your temper at her. yes. we we should have thought of your feelings and just walk away. yes... whatever.

judging from what you do now.. i believe everything was just a habit of yours. and you already got rid of this habit.

im glad im enjoying school. even though we are supposed to be learning "dry" and boring stuffs. im contented with this jc life im having currently! :) yayy :D

i told myself to wake up. urgh. what a stupidstupidstupid brain >:(

:O tiredtiredtired.

2012-01-14T23:55:00.002+08:00

omggggg. jc life is really so much busier!! >.< ahhh. esp now got concert.. D: ahh busybusy >.< and i think im really crazy le! 'cause even though i was so tired after dental (LOL) i was still so happy that i was carrying my qin and on my way to yew tee cc xDD HAHA. IM REALLY CRAZY. tired but happy. yupp so i guess im really enjoying my time there! :) whee~

and today i knew 3 more people! eugenia, hui wen and jinjing :) whee~ okie~ :D today was funnnnn! the way everyone stared at him when he was hitting the drum~ :P haha. and people joked that his gfs will queue up from floating platform to yewtee! :] i sort of agree though LOL. the way he hit the drum... :O got the 型 haha.

having lectures is just different.. when you move from place to place... time passes so quickly >.< omggg. break passes very fast too :( it's like when i finally completed 3-4ques of math break is over >:( humph. ok maybe im a slow kid thats why... buttt... D:

haizzz. no time for blogging. when i have so much to say!!!!!! and so little time!!! actually we get 24h per day just that im reallyreally occupied :X aww.

it's 12.34am now >.< I SHALL SLEEP D: haizz.

*when a string is on the verge of breaking, will you try to mend it?*

2012-01-12T21:01:00.002+08:00

Yes. I shouldn't be wasting my time writing blog post but I really can't stand it sometimes. Why must I always let her do what she wants? Why must I always give in? :( sian. Now because she wants to watch her video with great comfort, she takes the laptop everyday and now I have to be in the room with insufficient light to revise my work.zz. she always have it her way. Why. Why. Why. I still remembered last time when she used to take the table for herself I didn't even complain because I know she needs to do her stuff. Now shes taking it for leisure and yet I have to give in. sian. And I can't do anything about it. Shes just like that. Selfish peep.

And now im the only one who can't accept the truth... Yes. You stopped waiting for me. Because you go with her all the time and soon it will be your habit to follow her. laugh with her. Share everything with her. Right now im only the stupid one thinking that things wont change. But,things will. As time passes. So I needto wake up now. Before reality hits me too hard. Not waiting may be a small thing to you but it means a lot to me. Because you used to do that. Used to. It's ok. I'm just being overly sensitive about everything.

Another day passed, and maybe my answer is still the same. Seems like nothing can be done to save it. Because we are tired of saving it.

So funny that I'm sad when I realised I no longer have any influence on you.

busybusy life :(

2012-01-11T22:20:00.002+08:00

haiz. dont even have time to blog to talk about how i feel... anyway. just a quick post since 10+ le :X okie. omg. just wasted some time on fb >.<|||

okie so.. yesterday goes like this. when i was finally released from cca, i called her and asked if they left the school. and yupp they left. and he drove them there... then i was like. ohhh ok. :\ i dont know why but i didnt really want to believe that they really left in his car so i went to call him. then yupp they really left. then i felt a bit ... since i brought my instru from my home to school.. :X and i chionged there after that despite feeling quite sad (which i dont really understand why)...

i mean. actually i do understand a little to why im like sad. 'cause i felt left out. but afterall. im only a guest player (cause my mum dont allow me to join :X). im not really a part of them so to say. so by right i shouldnt feel anything like being left out. but maybe. it's good that they dont really include me.. so that i wont feel so sad when it's time for me to leave... :( im really scared i would cry. but i hope i wouldnt.. *prays* and i really enjoy myself there! :D shall elaborate another time~ :]

around 1 more month with them! shall cherish the last moments together! :) and i just realised xiao qi is soso sampat >:) haha. we will have fun together yayy ^^ and have fun as a yewtee ccco :P i hope!!

*so many things to do.. so little time... and SO LITTLE SLEEP T.T SADDD.*

sadddd :(

2012-01-09T21:56:00.004+08:00

ok.still havent posted about initiation >.< oops :( and my msia trip...
anyway. today was the o lvl hcl results.. we really did very badly.. :X omgg. i ddnt do that badly but was still disappointed. like really :\ cried really hard today 1. 'cause of that marion tan!! >:( 2. was very worried for her :O haiz. the thought of her leaving.. i cant take it!! >.< NOOOO! :( she cant leave. and there there 2 people laughing away. seriously. i hope things will be ok. i hope :\ and to think she said soso many things to tell me not to give up. she really convinced me to hang on. haiz. today i realised i was soso stupid. when i cried the first thing i thought was to go to you. but now, you seem so unreachable. i dont know. and you didnt even talk to me. everyone asked if i was ok but you. that was when. i decided to just leave, alone.

it's funny how you are always the one giving up, and when the other person talks about give up, you dont feel like giving up. but you know if you dont give up, selfish thoughts come. and you know she will sooner or later be of the same importance. yupp. the worse part is you know too many things. whywhy. why is this happening. haiz.

And Im a very weird person I don't know how I feel at times :( im a selfish brattttt >:(

currently am so tired because of all the things that happened. and it's only the third day of school (with lessons). i feel soso tired can i just sleep more and not wake up to face all this. at least give me time to charge my battery...

maybe it's a wow that im crying again haha. felt so much better. but was soso embarrassing >\\\<

2012-01-06T16:26:00.001+08:00

Hello! Finally I'm blogging again!! :) wow. Have so many things to write >.< my malaysia trip :\ aww. I shall post it somewhere sometime.. LOL. About initiation too.. post them later :)

Now I just need to 发泄 a little :)
Yupp. I expected things to be quite bad. But not this bad. I must totally admit I was living in self denial last dec.. Yes. Although I thought of the bad things that may occur, I was too optimistic. The worst part is. Seeing her reminds me of how I am last time. following her everytime, thinking of how she feels everytime, couldn't make decisions cause of her.. Getting controlled by her. For me it wasn't that bad. I wasnt getting controlled by anyone. But for her, she is just like a living puppet. Her puppet. She can't even make decisions herself. Her whole world is about her. I really can't take it cause I hate myself for being like that and now I see that in my friend. Not just a normal friend. Someone I use all my heart to care for. I can't really scold her. It's not exactly her fault. And if I do that I would look so stupid. And it is only the forth day of school loll. If I were to quarrel with her.. Hmm. But anyway. I told myself not to care about all these already. Yes. You can use all your heart to care for and worry for someone. But you can't interfere with what they do. It's his or her life, you don't have any right to interfere. And so, I don't have to get myself so worked up~
I think I was really trained to be stronger. Now, tears don't fall. They would just be at my eyes. But I can't really cry. Good. Maybe I became stronger. Or maybe, I have learnt to accept things as they are. Accepting. Is so so important. If not for accepting, I would have died by now. Drowned by all the troubles. But I'm not. Just like I told her. I don't care anymore. Or rather. I don't want to care. I have enough things to worry about.. If you want things to stay this way, so be it. I won't interfere.
Just as everyone thought I am going to lead a happy life this year, I doubt so. But I'm going to try my best to find things to be happy about. My classmates are nice. I have a nice class. I shall be happy. I won't let anything spoil my jc life!!! Even if I can't take some things. Even if I feel like crying at times. Like just now when I told her it doesn't matter that Im alone. but I know it matters. But I also know I will learn to adapt. I will. I told myself I will lead a new life this year. I will. I won't be so foolish anymore.

and although I don't want to be affected by you anymore, I just want to say this. (and I think you won't read this anw) you using tired as an excuse simply means you don't care about our friendship. I don't mean the two of us only. With them. Pls. Who is not tired after all those. Excuses. It's only the first week and you are like that. Don't know what to feel already.

*a toast to my new happy jc life <3*

Happy new year!!

2012-01-02T17:13:00.001+08:00

Yeaayeaa I know I'm one day late LOL. >.< aanw!! Happy happy new year!!!! :) I will have a happy year wheee :D

cmi :((

2011-12-31T00:32:00.002+08:00

today. was. a veryvery. BAD. day :(
SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. >.< ending the year badly? :(

1st thing. i was late when i was about to me yun xuan.
2nd. i missed the bus =.=
3rd. i was all sweaty when i reached yew tee... only to find out i didnt bring my card. (i thought it was at home BUT I LOST IT!!!! D:) *dies*
actually. the most important part is i lost my card :( BUT IT'S LIKE. WHO WOULD WANT YOUR CARD?!?!?!?!? i think some cleaner dumped it away :( because the back part of my card is... almost the original card colour LOL. haiz >.< nobody would know it is an ezlink card right :O haizzzzzz. upsetupsetupset :( SO UPSET!

ohh another thing. you can say that it's good. but to me is bad. 'cause i just got saboed by mr wong TO SOLO!! =.= LIKE THANKS. im very scared i would diu lian :X haizz. he totally. anyhow de. and that. leonard. i dont really know how to spell his name :\ just believed mr wong!! when i didnt say yes. and mr wong told him yes. like what?!?! D: eeeeeeeeeeee. mr wong >:(

ohh talking about this. then maybe i can link to another topic :)
im reallyreally scared that i would be close to them.. although i dont think it's going to happen haha. for now. doesn't seem like it. but. what if.and then i have to leave.and my next year is going to be sooo dull. 'cause i stopped taking dance lessons too :( i will become a study freak D: not like it's bad to become one. i dont mind studying but i dont want to be a freak :( haizzz. i will miss jia xin loads :O and other people! but up till now i only know hazel(shi yun) and jinglong >.< ohh and angela. the rest i still dont know their names >.< shall try to know them ^^ and the staying thing is not within my control. my mum dont allow :( i dont know why she became like that... :\

aww. gtg. it's 1am! :) im sleeping later and later >.< HAIZ. bad me. school is starting >:( NOOOO!

2011-12-26T01:12:00.002+08:00

i just realised. if i were to continue updating my pics post, i would just die 'cause i stopped at 6dec >.< LOL. so i guess i should just pick some to post! or not post at all :P HAHA. anyway im seeing lovely estha <3 tomorrow! :D wheee~ yayy ^^

*don't be afraid to be alone.*

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! xDD (and happy boxing day...)

2011-12-25T23:30:00.005+08:00

haha. merryy christmas all! xDD >1 week since i posted le x) haha. had been too lazy + busy!! >.< anyway. before i update!! i have something to say for today!!

had the most meaningful christmas everrrrrrrr!!! :P
went to one of the thye hua kwan homes! the people there are soooo friendly!!!! ^^ we went to distribute food we got from yewtee residents to them :D this was when i realised people are so kind here!! LOL. the amount of food we had to give was... :O a picture says everything :P

THE FOOD!!!! :D SO MUCH HOR! ^^

the people there are reallyreally nice! :D i like this guy 'cause he keeps smiling!!!! ^^ haha. we sang christmas songs for them and there was magic show!! :D ohh i shall post a pic of the santa :)

THE BIG FAT SANTAAA :D so cute hor?! LOL x)

had a lot of fun today :) AND THE FOOD WAS SO NICE!!! :O *so much better than.. buffets that i ate :\ refers to.. *

besides the fun.... i really learnt something from it...

it's like. with them. you are really happy and you can feel that they are sincere about making friends with you.. but. when you meet those so called "normal" people. can they be this friendly? maybe for some yes. but mostly no. even people you know may use underhand means just to get to their motives. maybe this is a hasty generalisation(LOL i hope i didnt use it the wrong way :X) but. people are really like that T.T

they cant really express themselves, but you know they want to make friends with you. they cant really express themselves, but you know how appreciative they are just by looking at their smiles. they get so excited because of a magic show. they are happy with every single thing they have. what about us?

we should really be contented of what we have. be contented with our lives. don't request for too much. think of you have and not what you don't.

im going to lead a 知足常樂 life! xDD yes i am going to be :)

and after soo much typing, it;s already boxing day!! haha ^^ have been distracted by too many things >.<||| haha. should change this bad habit of getting distracted T.T urgh :\

memorable day? LOL.

2011-12-16T20:09:00.004+08:00

before i update that picture post... :O i did something so embarrassing today >.<||| okie. but it will kind of be a good memory for me! your smile x) LOL. zz luhh me! okie it sounds wrong but anyway. this can be included in estha's book! or maybe we will be writing it together *winkwink* :P haha. and the worse realisation i had. you are born on the 17th. like seriously...?! :O :O shoccckkkk >.<||| i should stop singing I'd lie D:

and actually i think i did 2 embarrassing things >.< 'cause i took 333. thinking that it will go je.. then i think maybe i overshot.. then... >.< went through a whole BIG LOOP and realised i went back to the place i board the bus, just opposite :O now i know where to take to je liao >.<||| dont need cross overhead bridge D: so i kind of learnt something :O AHH. so not that bad i think >.<

ahhhh things not supposed to be that way but i cant help but think that way >///< okie enough of my rubbish mind >.<

like seriously my mind is rubbish. because when i boarded the bus, a mum called that name out and i freaked out -.- LOL. zz la :(

PICS PICS AND PICS! xDD

2011-12-15T23:46:00.004+08:00

okie! i guess photos are here xDD LOL. a post with photos. WOW :O

starts from tues! :) (LAST tues :O) *6dec*

炸醬麵!! estha's recommendation xDD WHEEEE~ :P

GREEEEN TEAAA LOL. this is kind of random xDD blehhh. we just drank it 'cause we found the noodle too dry >.< but this one is so ex!! like $1.50 :O EEEKS. cheat money T.T

anyway brief description of that day! we went to bugis :D heee. didnt take photo of my shirt >.< ahhhh. yuppppp with estha <3 YAYYY ^^ after that was cca ^^ MR SEEETOHHHHHH <3 :P LOL. he better not see this xDD

OK OOPS. gtg sleep omg >.<||| okie byeeee :D tmr upload D:

2011-12-14T22:53:00.002+08:00

just makes me want to laugh. please reflect before saying others. like seriously. but whee~ everything is ending soon ^^ totally had the 衝動 to end everything now. should i should i should i?? :) i dont really care. okie. first step. fb!! ^^

okie fb checked ^^ msn!!
MSN CHECKED TOO :D
omg i think everything is proceeding too fast HAHA.
I FEEEL LIKE GOING BACK MAPLE NOWWWWW. LOL. AND CLEAR MY LISTTTTTTTTT :P
OMG SHOULD IIIIIIIIII ^^
haha. overly high. seriously.
blehhhhhhhhhhhhhh :P
must be high. if not i would be emoing like siao 'cause of everything! :O
wheeeeeeee~ :)
i just need to get a new life <3
those people that m closer to but are with them...
i feel so sad to leave them >.<
but nvm.
i will be strong even if im alone :)
even if your friends were mine in the first place.
even if. i cherish my friends a lot.
nvm :]
*positive*
i just told miss zeng i would be 樂觀 so i shall be ^^
i said i WILL learn.
HAHA.
so still learning in progress x)
ahhh.
dont know why im spacing so much.
bleh :O
weird habit coming back! >.<
okie 11+ le! i should really sleep!
and be ready for work tomorrow ^^
WORKWORKWORK.!!!

okie gtg nearing 12 urgh >.<

my no life life begins next year...

2011-12-13T23:31:00.002+08:00

major decisions in my life. why am i making all of them this year?! :O like wow i have matured or something. LOL. anyway no pics again 'cause im using the com which cant censor my memory card -.-||| okie anyway. decisions.

1. say byeee to those two peeps. actually it was supposed to be 3. but i gues the third one wont even care. so ended up with two. felt quite relieved after that. YAYYYYY have finally stopped being stupid :)

2. forget him. this was the best decision mans. 'cause. i dont even know how i feel actually :) whee~

3. let go of you~ yupp. coming real soon! :) not say totally. but just. be less close. so that i would care less. and perhaps both of us would be better off~ letting go of something i snatched. it's a curse. LOL. it's to tell me. yes. please dont do that sort of thing anymore. it wont be good in the end.

4. saying BYEEEEE to the whole group of you. hmm havent yet! going to~ and im not going to be like some people delete delete and they still stay in your fb. if i meant to leave. i will leave. disappear from your life forever. and my list would be cleared~ :) and i dont have to bear any daoing anymore~ whee~ those friends that you all snatched away, so be it. they can just stay with you. i can make new friends. friends out of your circle.

5. stop following everything you say. do what i feel like doing. after 9 years of swallowing(counting from the day i know what is 忍), i have finally decided. i wont let you be anymore. i will decide for myself. and go with what i want. not go with what you want.

so i guess. my life will change next year :) my life would be so much more different. i guess i will be more academic driven too! D: but i will keep my love for co there forever xDD <3 when i saw your "practice" attitude, i know it would be worse for the next 2 years so im not going to care about you anymore. whee~

i guess i will be a study freak next year. wish me all the best for being a freak. hope i succeed >.< so that at least i have something that is good about me. LOL. :O haha. im going to really have a no life life ^^ lalala~ so i shall enjoy now :D cherish every moment i have! wheeeee :D

2011-12-13T13:45:00.004+08:00

Great. The right side of my earphone spoilt. Thanks a lot mans. Just as my one year warranty expired. Wheeee -.-

Smrt service is just plain crap. So crap that I have to change my data card to post this. Like seriously. Afternoon bus frequency sucks like the night one. Have been putting up with this so long. Not so good service and yet they raised fares (although it sort of doesn't concern me...) Seriously. Can they just improve on their service... Please don't be complacent just because you are the monopoly. Urgh. I know about taking responsibility for what I say. maybe it is somehow offensive to you. ok you can treat me like a crazy person who complains a lot. But if smrt was to conduct a survey on people's satisfactory level with their service.. We shall see :)

2011-12-10T12:14:00.003+08:00

woah. had been so busy the past few days >.< so busy that i never blog >.< blehh. anyway.

7 dec:worse day of this year.

vomitted like 7 times and diarrhea 5-6times. even went for injection T.T urgh. slept like a pig. or even worse than a pig. only add 1 small bowl of porridge for the WHOLE day. the only "good" thing (many people may smack me) was that my tummy was super flattttt for the whole day :D which was like yayyy! LOL.

i remembered how i was complaining in the morning that i want to go COOOOO. i diediediediedie want to goooooo T.T *pleads mummy* but to no avail :( but luckily i didnt go. if not i would have died there. :X but i miss 大組!!!! D: <3 大組!!!! *cries* haiz :(

doctor said it's stomach flu. D: like what? virus has been there for 3-4days?! LOL. :O

porridge xDD VERY NICE DE HOR! ^^

my medicine :O

ahhhh never want to tio this again >.< humphh.

2011-12-05T19:41:00.004+08:00

After these few days, I start to question my character and perhaps beliefs... how can I be like that just because of a show? Even though I will leave late to make up and they said my workings hours are flexible, I can't be like this right? :( tan kah po T.T haiz. maybe in the first place this isn't my belief. Maybe it's just cause I think it is good so I thought it is one of my beliefs.. I can't be like that anymore.. I suck. Totally.. :( haiz. How can a show affect me so much?! :O ahhh. I must be 中毒太深 D: ohno.

On a happier note, I think I watch too much tan kah po and ai lin plus gao tian cheng and hui xin!!! Starts to think about loads of rubbish... :P loll! But I think it's enough for me to imagine that I'm ai lin HAHA. I should be contented and not ask for too much! :) wait till I reach the end of 家和万事兴 first.. Then maybe I would.. >.< ahhh. Nvm. I can rewatch 风云 instead :) haha. Got both tan kah po and 冯少!!! :D LOL. 后宫 also not bad got 冯少 and mo安以轩!!! :) hee! I start to feel happy that im more normal!!! :D BUT my love for qiao en still as much ok! Haha. Just that now got mr贺, 冯少, and the newly joined 陈冠霖 aka tan kah po aka 断浪 :) hahahahaha. Im normalllll :D LOL. I THINK IM CRAZY x) bleh. Tan kah po's fault :P ok shall stop being crazy cause of him :) tan kah po!!!! x) hahahahaha.

I start to worry for my arms... :( muscles T.T like what?! I thought it isn't that easy to get muscles lor D: I seriously think they started to grow when I start carrying liuqin all over D:

Now I carry my laptop everywhere cause of work :( more muscles -.- you can sort of feel it de lor :O eeyer. harder to slim down liao T.T I mean for the arms. When it's already hard in the first place :( eeks. It's ok. At least I'm learning salsa :) haha. Didn't dare to think that I can actually go for dance lessons although I always wanted to! Since pri1 :P 9 years later my dream came true! Yayy xDD HAHA. I LOVE DANCING <3 whee~

My no life life begins this week... :( work cca cca work work.. D: and I actually told myself that I want to revise bio for next year!!!! :O H2 bio. I must be nuts :P LOL. IT'S OK!! DNA <3 omg I'm listening to you belong with me now :D this is random but I really love this song these few days :D it's a happy ending ahh :P ok. Back to.. H2 bio.. Ahhh D: I mustmustmust revise everyday next year!!!!! :O I think I can do it!! I will force myself!! :) but it means that I must chiong 家和万事兴 first D: ok luhh. around 1month to go :)

And quitting maple would be easy now with all your daos and whinings x) I have to thank you guys for that although I really hate it at times. Thanks for helping me quit maple! :) for me to welcome my jc no life life!! :P

I hate it that we have memories together.. I'm not supposed to remember any. D: and I know things won't out that way but memories are haunting me :(

TAN KAH PO xDD

2011-12-04T00:04:00.006+08:00

it's 12am! and im trying to load my tan kah po T.T HAIZ. sianz. have to give laptop to them 'cause they want watch. while i try to watch on some SLOW and UNCOOPERATIVE com =.= sianz. today never watch tio :( tomorrow afternoon GONE too 'cause go cousin's wedding :O i dont mind going the wedding though x) WHEEE~ weddings <3 :P dont dare to dream of mine >.< hahahaha. whoooppsss x) AHHH. I SHALL WAKE UP EARLY TO WATCH TMR! FIGHT WITH THEM!!! LOL. D: haiz. but now it's 12. how early can i wake up leh -.- I SHOULD SLEEP NOW! S.L.E.E.P. :) OKIE!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH >.< i love tan kah po xDD AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3 gosh. im crazy~ ohh and i just realised MA LI! (ai lin) is going clementi tomorrow :( I CANT GO!!! 'cause of the wedding... BUT NVM. since tan kah po not there HAHA.

okok. GTG D: I MUST SLEEP WELL THEN GOT TAN KAH PO <3 WOOTS~ xDD

Blehhh just realised can't watch le cause need to run!!! Zzz no tan kah po sad life :( emo~ :( haiz.

still waiting... waiting... and rotting... But I know you won't write anything.. Blah.

*我的心再也不会被你牵动着。。。*

my dec life.

2011-12-01T23:24:00.004+08:00

my "no-life" life is coming... D: awww :( although having cca is GREAT! but. i would spend my dec with just work cca cca work work for every week T.T how sad. :O butbutbut. im glad that CO is back x) <3 woots~ zhi ying!!! :P LOL. haha. she better not see this ^^ i know she wouldnt though :)

AHHHHHHHHHH. right now. i have so many things to do.
1. study for next year.
2. revision for bio chem and math T.T
3. maple (i know it's like what?!?!?! right. it shouldn't be here >.<)
4. WATCH MY TAN KAH PO :(
5. start training my left hand =.=
6. learn swimming (i dont think it would happen alr)
7. pack my books!!! >:(
8. pack my cupboard :X

OH GOSH. SO MANY THINGS TO DO!!!! :( blehhhhhhhhh. my life is... filled with stuffs >.< it's supposed to be a good thing, like im occupied so that i dont think of craps (xD) BUT. too busy luhh D: and now im so lazy to log in msn :( ESTHAAA!!! D: and my life with estha and chen fang has ended :( 'cause they not working le. SADDD!!! :[ awwww. sad life. LOL. haiz.

and i have to make a decision... just realised i made loads of decisions this year.. (getting more matured? :P LOL.) im not sure if my decisions were/are right, but.. since i was determined to do so, i shan't regret. right now. im left with the last decision. TO GO OR NOT TO :( haiz. 'cause if i dont go. i wont ever meet them. FOREVER. should i just pretend and continue going? :O i dont know. helpppppppp. but come to think of it, who i go back for? rachelle yunxuan and maybe lizhen! :) then... nothing else. 'cause my greatest motivation is gone. he's gone. out of my life. whee~ then what now. not like i can communicate with them anymore. (them= those people who were close to me but we are worse than strangers now) when i remembered how you ignored me on purpose, i really... haiz. i dont know. i just know the past is a fantasy. maybe all of you have forgotten about it. just me, holding on to those memories, hoping that someday you would turn around and say, "you never left my heart". bleh. everything is just a dream~

please please please. no same class no same class no same class!!!!! >.<

*if only something/someone that has hurt you before wont hurt you again...* im so not crying again. for you. for those memories.

2011-11-30T22:46:00.004+08:00

cant believe that im caring about things i shouldn't care. seriously. WHO CARES?! -.- blehhhh. gonna stop this habit of caring crap. like seriously crap. 'cause i mean nothing to you. nothinggggggg. im just plain crap =.= im also caring TOO MUCH about things i should care... dotdotdot

im going to start a new life. without both of you confusing me ALL THE TIME. D: AND IM SO PRAYING HARD THAT YOU WONT JOIN. PLEASE DONT. although you should =.= BUT. PLEASE DONT. 'cause im going to die. D.I.E. blehhh :d i started to use blehhh for no reason LOL. :O ANYWAY. SERIOUSLY HOPE MY PRAYERS COME TRUE :) 'cause i dont want to die! im still so young x) LOL.

OMGGGG NEW LOVE!!!!! 陳家寳!!!!!! xDD AKA 斷浪!!!!!! YAYYYYY ^^ <3 AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I LOVE HIM LOADS x) 陳冠霖!!!! he is not that veryveryvery shuai but he's just attractive 'cause of his character x) *maybe looks a bit LOL * AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. IM CRAZY! and i realised my love for 賀軍翔 has slowly die out... oops :P HEEEE :D im so sorry though >.< 'cause i already knew my love for you would die out quite fast :D HAHA. and maybe for tan kah po too! i think will be quite fast >.< once 家和萬事興 ends D: HAHA. 200+ep more to go!! so i think i will love him for quite long laa x) WHEE~ but then. AHHHHHHHHHH. i will LOVE HIM LOADS for the time being x) WOOTS~ but he is like... 35? :O SO SAD. LOL. i think i should find younger ones >.<||| blehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. ANYWAY! TAN KAH PO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xPP

woots~ high now so can sleep better YAYY :) LOL. not like im sleeping now though >.< BUT I NEED TO. URGH :\ hates that i dont have much time T.T to enjoy tan kah po :( LOL. whee byeee~ 'cause i forgot what i actually wanted to post HAHA.

class chalet!

2011-11-29T23:27:00.003+08:00

AHHHH. ALL THOSE MR MEN AND LITTLE MISS GOING TO DOWNTOWN AGAIN!!! :( blehhh! cant see them >.< humphhh. I LOVE MR HAPPY!!! xDD HAHA.

ook so we went to play pool! :D LOL. i didnt play luh >.< dont know how to D: then very lao kui also cause they all know haiz. :\ i reallyreally wanted to try D: sadsad.

anw went to watch 一泡而紅!!! SO FUNNY!!!! xDD HAHA. had a great time laughing and i finally ate my "lunch"-popcorn :X aww. PICS NEXT TIME! ^^ whee~

and played tio arcade! :) hee! in the end got a lot of sweets >.< LOL.'cause our points only enough for SWEETSSS >.< ahhh. but the basketball was great! strain my leg muscles so i dont become FAT T.T HUMPH.

*how i wish one day it's you walking towards me not me walking towards you...*

bookfest!

2011-11-27T16:14:00.005+08:00

Suddenly feel that the data card rocks! :) I'm on the mrt btw loll!! Anyway. Just wanted to blog about how I got cheated by bookfest yesterday!!! >:(

1. They are having buy 2 get 1 free offer since it's last two days..
2. So I took 3 books and asked the popular staff how much it was.
3. They told me since book A had discount, the amount I would have to pay=discounted price+price of the book B
4. In the end when I went to pay, the person told me discount was not applicable since there is the buy 2 get 1 free sale!!!
5. In the end I paid 28.40 in total!! :( (because book A without discount is 18.50 :O)
6. I was quite sad plus 心痛 cause I earned the money from work!! So im not very willing to buy book A at 18.50 D: so I went to clarify with another staff about the book. And she told me there is discount!!!! Even though there is buy 2 get 1 free sale. And the sadder part is that I didn't have the receipt so she said maybe she can't help much..
7. She called the person in charge and the person in charge said that the discount doesn't apply!!! Only if you buy it alone then there will be discount!! (i was totally thinking wow this message didn't get across to other staff very well uhh)u
And right now I'm like going back to bookfest (-.-) to get book A = 向左走向右走!!! >:( humph. Loll! Anyway. I won't make any losses without the buy 2 get 1 free! Let me explain now :)

Book A-18.50
Book B- 9.90
Book C- 4.90

Buy 2 get 1 free situation: A+B=28.40 and C is free.
Buy them separately: 20% discount for all= A is now 14.80 and B+C=11.84 so when everything is added together,

Ok they didn't save my post correctly -.- gives up cause I reach city hall le!!! >:(

OK IM BACK!!!! :D HAHAHAHAHA. okok. continues =.=

so when everything is added together, it's only 26.64!!! WHICH IS CHEAPER!!! :D LOL. HAHHAHAHA. ANYWAY I REALLY BOUGHT IT. :O OMGGG! <3 IM HALF CRAZY x) LOL! and i forgot what i typed then! >.< SO I GUESS I SHALL END HERE!!! D:

OHHHOHHH I REMEMBERED IM MENTION ABOUT 格鬥天王!!!!! xDD HEEEEEEE IM SO HIGH OVER IT!!! I LOVE THE STORY!!!! NEVER REGRET BUYING IT!!!! ^^ <33333333333333 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :P HHAHAHAHAHAHA. <3

OHHHHH. THE SADDEST PART COMES. I GREW FATTTTERRR!!!! ALTHOUGH MY 體重計 "say" never, BUT I CAN FEEL THE STUPID FATS!!! =.= URGH. :( SAD.

2011-11-26T11:38:00.002+08:00

this sucks. just when tiny tower enters andriod, it is INCOMPATIBLE with my phone. thanks loads. :O blehh. whatever. i know this phone is lousy!! D: in supporting games T.T most fun games it cant support LOL. *wonders if it's 'cause of the resolution NVM!!!!

having my second salsa lesson today xDD hope it turns out well! *prays* and im taking my "棺材本" to bookfest after that :P YAAAYYY BOOKS!!! but i would be bringing the money for maybe 2 books :X depends on the price of the books luhh!! :\ eeks. if too exx then.. forget it!!! hee! books time!!! <3

BACK TO BAIN! xDD

2011-11-24T10:20:00.002+08:00

HEEE! BACK TO MY DARLING BAINSSSSS :P YAYYYYY! so gan dong xPP HAHAHAHA. and i can kill that ah pei with 3 strokes!!! LOL. the spawn rate is super fast though! :P but the exp is 0.01... -.- :( saddd. but nvm x) FOR THE SAKE OF BAIN <3 HAHAHAHAH. ok byee :X i keep forgetting what i wanted to post -.- eeks.

2011-11-24T00:09:00.002+08:00

*continues about tapeworms :O
symptoms: Nausea
Weakness
Loss of appetite
Abdominal pain
Diarrhea
Weight loss and inadequate absorption of nutrients from food

apparently i have none. LOL. just have weird things in my uhm. stools to say it in a nice way ~.~ should be long and skinny things :X how can it ever be FOOD?! -.- eeks. still wondering if i should see a doctor. like ALONE :X how can i even tell anyone? LOL. :\ bleh. THE SADDEST PART IS. IM NOT LOSING WEIGHT :( LOL. at least i wont feel so sad having some worms 'cause they are helping me to lose weight. BUT they are super disgusting =.= I RATHER NOT HAVE THEM. eeks. enough about worms ~.~

OHH! i forgot to mention that we saw MR SEETOH *bolds* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. at least i felt a bit happier ^^ LOL! he so funny luhh. wanted to run away from us T.T EEEE. MR SEETOHHHHH <3 GLAD THAT HE WOULD NOT SEE THIS xDD HAHAHAHA. i bet he would just freak out :D heee!

what else did i miss? :O urgh. so late now :X SLEEP. ahhhhhhhh. still wondering if i should work at 11 tomorrow >.< but i cant wake up that early D: HELPPPPP. :( i need the money though :\

*and you gave up. WHEE~

2011-11-23T10:36:00.002+08:00

oh gosh. when you totally suspect you have tapeworms inside -.- ewww. hope not :X not like i could tell anyone. i just took a photo of the "suspected worm" :\ like ew. should have kept the specimen right! wont post here 'cause it will just disgust people who passes by randomly :O JUST PRAY HARD IT'S NOT! urgh. no time to post >.< shall continue with what happened yesterday :\

*pray that it is not tapeworm T.T

2011-11-21T21:18:00.005+08:00

tried luge and skyride today!! xDD funnn! 'cause luge is like driving your own car yayyyyyy!!! heee~ but got so paiseh 'cause i got stuck >.< awww :X somemore is when the finishing point is just a few metres away!!! :X so paiseh >.< 'cause got some jap people then they just zoomed past me D: awwww. and sky ride! jolene's slipper fell! LOL! luckily it dropped at the start xDD so it's not too bad :P haha. then i was so scared my slipper will drop among the trees LOL. then i will just die xPP but the ride was ok luhh though quite high above the ground :) i wasn't 欣賞-ing 風景 though~ a bit too tensed ahh! first time ma x) ok pics :P

luge!!!!! xPP FUNNNN :D

some small fountain xDD <3

after that went to the beach~

I LOVE THE WATER!!! <3 too bad it was raining :( love how the waves were like :D <3 just a bit scary >.< BUT ANW! I LOVE THE BEACH <3 shall go there someday and screammmmm! xDD *tries to find people if not so paiseh!! HAHA. and do what i want! <3 forgot to bring my bubbles today! so bored :\ aww. if not can sit there blowblowblow and self entertain ^^ haha. i tink i will write something in a bottle and bury there :D wheeee~ (i dont normally use this BUT using this is fun in this context xDD) okok. list down~ :P (totally sidetrack. anyway sentosa ends here)

things to do at a beach:
1. scream/ shout to the 海~ xDD
2. bury your secret HAHA (and get dug out by random stranger :X)
3. throw stones/shells into the sea ^^
4. blow bubbles :D
5. get yourself all wet :O
6. go near the water to feel the wave :) (i mean near not into xP)

cant think of any already! :D haha.

anyway. i promised that i should get affected anymore and post BAD things. but then. i knew something will pop out everytime i meet you. and im even more sure now of what i think.

initially it was ok. though it's so clear that they only chose people they like to play with. after that when we went to wash our feet, everything became different. yes i admit we didnt say where we were going. so what if the 4 of you went to play by yourselves. but did you even bother to call? no. although i didn't bring my phone. but you didnt bother. no. then we went back. sat there. and waited. and when we realised none of you is going to come back, people started taking out their phones, ipod.. i started munching on chips. while i was spamming your phone, (which i already expected is of no use 'cause you wont bring it with you) i saw all of you popping out again. and one of you would have seen us. but none came to ask if we want to join. yes. some of you will think that we would auto go in and join. but we are not. we were waiting for some people to come and ask. because it's a SECTION outing so if you want to play we should play together right? difference in mindset then. wont elaborate. end up. 4 ppl playing. 5 ppl doing their own stuff. how pathetic this looked? section outing. yeaaa right. more like 4 ppl outing. couldn't take it. if this is the kind of SECTION outing that you want, go ahead and call the 4 of you. anyway our presence doesnt matter right?

and if you still want to use your thinking of "too expected that they will not go" to judge them, they will never turn up. WHEN did we even have a section outing? how can you judge them like that? the only section thing i remembered was before concerts. AND THEY ALL TURNED UP. so you got no evidence.

and anyway. attention is all you need. you just need their attention and i will become invisible. go ahead. get your attention. im out of everything.

im even more determined that you are out of my life.

IT'S THE LAST TIME IM CRYING FOR SHIT. I SWEAR.

2011-11-16T22:12:00.003+08:00

wow suddenly blogger becomes blue :O LOL. anyway. totally regretted saying it out. argh. should have made it MY secret. humph humph. nvm. shall never do things on impulse!! promise :)

2011-11-16T11:54:00.003+08:00

forgot to add that half of nov has passed D: ohno >.< but at least i achieved some things LOL. but then have to chiong some of my char ahh >.< if not none will get the ring :O but my icelit is not possible liao :\ aww. i dont know which to chiong ahh :( sad. aiyo :X

i asked myself is this the life i want- stop haunting you. maybe. this life isn't that bad after all!

work starts soon! jiayou me ^^

ohhohh i also forgot to add that im going to die today 'cause all 3 blocks have 4 pages!! GG ME D: HAHA.

LONG POSTTTTTT xDD dont sleep LALALA xPP

2011-11-15T20:43:00.007+08:00

woots xDD BLOGGING MOOD BACK! LOL. :P aww. have loads to say eh >.< *checks my last post LOL. ok 11/9 was the last official post. GOSH. *checks my calender LOL.

ok! shall talk more about work first :P
i still see interesting sutffs LOL! but then. 'cause i started to work earlier then i realised i start to get a little sleepy >.< haiz. totally :\ but i will survive!!! :O JIAYOU ME! :D yayy~

on 11/9, went to study with estha!! <3 *study. coughs :P LOL. pictures :D

worksheet LOL.

estha hardworking de 背影!!!! xDD *cough

MOS lunch!!! :D this is called seafood burger! :P i intro de neh~ hee :D so nice lor! regretted ordering fish burger >.< aww.

after that i went to work laa :D haha. ok im done with 11/9! YAYYYYYYY :O

on 11/10, O lvls chinese! :) LOL. nothing much to write about this but >.< ok luhh. not too hard and not too easy! :) hope i can get A!! *pray >.< D: after that went to eat lunch! long john :P picpicpic!

MY FOOD! xDD LOL! i think is the most 划算 set! :) yayy!

OK I THINK IT'S THE END LOL!

on 11/11, went out to kkkkkkkkkkkkboxxxxx :D WOOTS~ with doggie! <3 then neoo :D YAYYYY! ^^ and went to kfc :O

our pretty drinks xDD YAYY! <3

JAP COINS FOR NEOOOOO ^^ HAHA.

OK HAPPY DAY ENDS :P WOOTS~ <3

on 11/12.< doraemon only 10 each :O PICPICPIC! really super cute >.< but i think my phone de quality too lousy le so all the pooh NOT YELLOW DE -.- sad. ok :D picssss ^^

smiling de x)

laugh de :D

吐舌頭 de :P

stare at you de pooh xDD

can see the butt :P LOL! >\\\<

my sista 擺的!! so childish but so cute luhh they x) HAHA. <3

OK DONE! :D YAYY! xPP

I THINK MY UPDATES ARE QUITE DONE! for now :D anyway i have to sleep :O ok byee and nights! xDD

ohh i forgot to say: that day i was totally ... 'cause it's like both of you talked about it so enthu-ly then both of you act blur and ask again. like LOL. sui bian. i dont care liao! my life has got nothing to do with the both of you! humphhh!!! :)

OK IM DONE AFTER ALL THE RAMBLING YAYY ^^

2011-11-15T11:11:00.001+08:00
Omgggg

2011-11-14T23:14:00.002+08:00
ok i think my long post no 着落 already!! HAHA :P aww. have been working hard for work! LOL. sounds weird but :P anyway random updates! :D

1! GOT MY FIRST SALARYYYY xDD WOOTS! <3 aww! YAYY! i was hoping i dont squander them away >:( HAHA. I WILL NOT! humph. im planning to save 2/3 of it!! >.< HUMPH. i will control! nothing to buy anyway! BOOKFEST COMING THOUGH D: OH GOSH. 1/3 of my salary= 1 book?! LOL. i would try to look for cheaper books :X aww >.<

2! IM 6 MORE LEVELS TO MY DARLING BAIN! <3 WOOOOOO~ :P QIN AI DE WO LAI LE~ :D <3 cant describe how i love BAINS LOL! they are ugly and scary though D: oops. >.< but anyway! I WILL MEET THEM SOMEDAY! despite my time being eaten up by work >:) haha. IT'S OK I WOULD WORK HARD! :P YAYY! actually i think i can kill even though im <136 :O maybe just hit a lot?! >.< aww. shall not risk :O

3! ULCER TROUBLE! :( humph. sianz. it's those that when i brush my teeth i will 痛到哭!!! :( im really not going to eat FASTFOOD! CAUSE OF MY 痛苦 >:( HUMPHHHHHH. D:

lalala~ nothing much to say liao! need sleep anyway >.< my long post... HAIZ. slaps myself for the laziness ^^ *slaps

2011-11-14T11:09:00.001+08:00
ulcers should DIE >:( disappear and never harm people again!!!! f5. :(

laziness killss....

2011-11-13T23:10:00.003+08:00
wanted to post the long post today BUT. no time :X aww T.T IM SO SORRY BLOG. but as the days passed more things happened :O argh. my post would be a scary one D: HAHA. spammed with pictures too >.<||| OMG D:

ANYWAY! IM ONE STEP CLOSER TO MY DARLING BAIN <3 hope it's not that hard to kill >.<

now i hate myself for being so lazy >:(

2011-11-09T22:21:00.002+08:00
i need to sleep :( but anyway. just came here 'cause my mum watched jiong! so after stopping for so long i watched too! and i really think im lucky that my parents are still together! >.< although i really find my dad annoying at times because of his LOUD voice and how he always anyhow scold, i feel so fortunate!!! >.<

OK ANYWAY. jiayou for HCL O levels tomorrow people! i promise! i will post a long one after Os :P heeee! ^^

im lazy to put titles nowadays... :(

2011-11-09T10:14:00.002+08:00
great. maple is telling me to study too :X haiz.
anw D: wanted to do a very long post about what happened these few days but.. IM LAZY :) so i think i would just talk about my work! and photos shall come.. uhm. when i feel like it ^^ LOL.

WORK!
first day of work was ok! :) jas is very nice ^^ haha. my job is quite interesting! although you see weird names and get messed up by info... >.< LOL! but ok luhh~ at least im not really messed up yet :P the only bad thing is that i have to carry my heavy laptop= more muscles for me BUT ohweellll ~.~ and im like going to walk there?? :O omggg! think i better go 1/2h earlier LOL.

and oh gosh. im like searching around 貓扑 for games because im too bored :O LOL. should read my 億萬麵包 instead!! overdue liao >:( LOL.

and i dont know if i should say hii because since you didn't you are not there?

2011-11-04T21:24:00.003+08:00
speechless. 眼不見為淨~ i should keep those evil thoughts within me. HAHA. it's time to have some secrets for myself. lala~

anyway finished 愛情魔法師!!! YAYYY xDD HAHA. OMG. i still love MING DAO and QIAO QIAO A LOT!!! :P eeyer. and i saw a lot of 王子變青蛙 PEOPLE!!! <3 FAVVVVV :) GOT THE 命中 de nai nai!!!!! ^^ WOOTS~ SO CUTE <3 hahahahahahaa.

HEE :D

*i will be happy. using my own strength.*

2011-11-04T10:56:00.002+08:00
i told myself i only have 2 choices.
1. be happy. act like nothing has happened.
2. continue to be sad and angry.

loll.
i dont know.
i was really... angry when i heard it. sad when i thought about it. urgh. i tink i shall be happy then. D: i dont know. since things turned out this way.

LALALA. >:(

2011-11-02T09:12:00.002+08:00
am super tempted to click that button. click that stupid button and everything will just end. but i know i don't dare. because i have no courage to face the regret i would have after that. urgh. :X

it's ok. i promise.

我再也不會不會不會不會不會那麽在意。

2011-11-01T23:28:00.001+08:00
Yesterday I wasn't free. But today? Maybe you would say they only want 17 and above. But the main point is not whether I can join. Just say that you don't bother to share because you find that there's no point doing that.

I wish...

2011-11-01T10:45:00.005+08:00
i hate the feeling of knowing everything new like last minute. nevermind. you dont have to tell. because i will never ever care so much again. because there's nothing that you bother to tell.

stop crying. because it's just a stupid subject combi. she can do what she wants.

and once again you changed your mind. again and again.

2011-10-31T23:04:00.002+08:00
I should have said if you wanted to tell me you would. But anyway I have no rights to be angry or whatsoever. I just need to know why you didn't say. Just cause im going out? even if i cant go you can say like ohh hey i found a job! but anyway. i shouldn't be interfering with your matters. ok~

Or maybe you just aren't prepared to share. Maybe.

I don't think you will see this though. Leave it for self entertainment :)

2011-10-30T20:35:00.006+08:00
it's still me askingaskingasking. i dont know why i even exist to you if you dont tell me anything. since i knew it from a stupid social networking site. and we have very different views on frienship. i dont know. all i can say is we are too different. still too different although we may understand what each other wants.

im lost. because i no longer know what is right. everytime i thought i did something correctly it turns out wrong and i become a clown. i dont know anything anymore. i dont know.

I have no rights to be angry or sad. So I shall stop looking.

I'm going to be happy right! :(

*perhaps I'm not suitable for you. Cause I can't cheer you up. I'm only someone who can make you happier when you are happy...*

如果这是你的快乐，我给你。我退出。

2011-10-30T13:26:00.001+08:00
i know if i dont do anything you wont. but maybe. i wont if im tired. things may end. but if it doesnt matter to you it's ok to me ba.

and i really hate bs. they suck. slaps them x) hee ^^

im going to be happy~ happy~ :)

2011-10-29T22:52:00.003+08:00
because i was scared it may be the last time.. and i guess maybe it is. i still didnt have courage. but i guess i didn't really regret... guess so. maybe this is the last time im doing something that i thought is good but end up like a clownnnnnnn~ okok. lastlast.

i asked myself how i felt. really nothing? really? i asked myself why do i still smile. why? and i sounded so stupid haha. nvm anyway i cant sound clever x) LOL.

new life. new beginning. maybe im prepared. maybe im not. i hope i am D:

If you don't blog, I won't know about your troubles.. You won't really tell me anyway. Hmm.

我只是一时糊涂!! :O

2011-10-28T07:03:00.000+08:00
You said that it was a joke. But it turned out more like your natural reaction-to protect your secret.

2011-10-27T20:33:00.005+08:00
i would never ever do that again.

如果我不在乎你那該有多好。我就不會變成這個樣子了。
小丑。
我不會再那麽多管閒事，像個八婆。不要臉的八婆。

maybe im really tired. because this is not you. and maybe someday things will just end there. so i have to learn how to 看開 first. hmm.

and i realised im always the most selfish person. because i will shutdown whenever im upset. (upset= sad, confused, angry~) even if not face to face. i still do it. when i start using fullstops. when i stopped putting smiley faces... i never ever thought of how you will feel. because i only think about myself. emoing. think about how i feel only. think about how sad i am.

sometimes i wish i could just disappear right at that moment. if i never lived, how will it be like?

2011-10-27T18:57:00.003+08:00
actually i wanted to say please dont care about my previous post but since i told you about it, i just let you read it luhh.

anyway found this

喜好平衡的天秤，是个不折不扣的犹豫家，他们尽管有着非常灵活敏捷的头脑，洞察能力也是超强，甚至是个思考家，但是，却永远在抉择外面徘徊来徘徊去，不用说别人无法理解，他们自己也是很讨厌这一点的，但就是没办法改变，正所谓江山易变，本性难易，天秤应该是要将犹豫进行到底了。说话说一半不是天秤有意的行为，却是他们无法避免的，突然想到个什么，就情不自禁的说了一半出来，然后疑虑的心使他们又会立马停止，他们需要思考一下这个事情值不值得说，又或是说出来会造成什么样的影响，天秤都要好好的在心里琢磨一番，所以，他们就常常话说了一半而无法继续，敏感的他们其实也意识到这样会让别人产生不好的印象，但他们也顾虑不到这些了，因为心中的矛盾已经在那一刻升级，天秤内心在挣扎着，就算你再问他们，他们也只会是说没什么，一切似乎又回归平静。

LOL. it's so true for me o.O||| :X

and i need to stop caring about you. tsktsk.

and once again i used what i thought to expect something from you. we are different. very i think. i should have known better. urgh.

i found someone who is really like him. luckily it's already the last day :)

*不該以自己的標準來衡量他人。*

the other side.

2011-10-26T21:49:00.005+08:00
For so long, I didn't tell you. But so what if I said, so what? Theres nothing you can do.

So now after knowing. So what? All I have kept was the other side of her. So what if you know now. And I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to sound like I'm acting ke lian. But since this is what you want to know I shall tell you.

so what. i still have to face her for another 2 years. i have to bear everything for another 2 years. 2 freaking(I'm trying very hard not to use this word already :( ) years.

第一次有這種感受。。。我很明白，那不是同情，那是心痛。爲什麽？我還以爲我已確定我的方向。還以爲。。。請別在這種時候，讓我慌亂。我的人生已夠“精彩”了。。。拜托拜托。。。饒了我。！！！

*第一次，我的心揪了一下。我很想哭，為你哭。*

DEARESTTTTTT DOGGIEEEEE xDD (L)

2011-10-25T21:06:00.002+08:00
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ^^ YAYY.
DOGGIE MUST BE HAPPY xDD I KNOW YOU WILL RIGHTTTTT 'CAUSE YOU GOT MEEEE!!!!!
HAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAA. :P

謝謝你，我很快樂 <3

-escapes- :P

*我們仍然很快樂，因爲一切都值得 <3*

2011-10-24T22:05:00.000+08:00
im putting on my best :D BEST. SWALLOW. and i can die for the next three days :D WHEE~ :P

2011-10-23T20:32:00.003+08:00
my phone is pissing me off again! because NOW ANOTHER PROBLEM APPEARED. CANT FIND MY NETWORK =.= it's only the second month and it LAGS, AUTO SHUTDOWN, CANT CENSOR MY MEMORY CARD. what is this. SAMSUNG WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?! -.- haiz. when im already ___ it still adds on. stares at the blank gao zhi. haizzzzz. life is uber sad. it's after the exams but nothing much seems to be happy.

ok. finally my phone works. :O ahhhhhhhh.

i dont have to mind. i dont have to care. because people work in different ways. whatever. i should get some enlightenment soon so that i can 成仙 and have less rubbish thoughts.

if it makes you happy, then i guess i shall be happy too. although i dont know how to smile. maybe i will just go.

shall escapeeeee! and talk whatever crap and shittt i wanttt :D yayyy hoo~

it's 作文 time T.T horrible time.

*我擁有的，和曾經擁有的，讓我幸福。*

rotting~

2011-10-23T12:53:00.003+08:00
can't take it. why must i force myself to play some stupid game when everything has lost its meaning??? i just feel uber sian. like SIANNNNNN. so what if i catch up with you? it's nothing already. why did i try so hard in the first place >:( haiz. im utterly bored now. staring at some meaningless game. where is my happiness? D: ewwwww. :( homework time. i guess it's even more interesting than a game -.- gosh.. :O

2011-10-22T10:56:00.003+08:00
a long and scary post was written. like omg. loll~ but nvm it shall be kept~

that was when i realised how scary my life is. and was. when what i thought was that everything was happy and carefree. i realised i neglected all the scary stuffs. all the pain i went through. actually, i just forgot most of them. and i still haven't read my diary anyway. LOL. but then. i guess im still happy. perhaps.

at least. there's something which makes me less sad because i know that as long as i really study hard for it, i can have some reward :\ at least :X

i should stop being selfish and start to rely on myself more. as long as i can swallow something, i shall swallow it. stop being a stupid person. i dont know how long i can stay to be so thick skinned and stick.

i dont know how i will accept it. smile? can i just be absent. best to be absent from this world. negative thoughts, again. but thats just me. maybe im really tired. maybe i should let friends to be of less importance. after going through so much. i dont know what to believe in anymore. somehow i think that i typed this before. hmm. loll.

and the stupid maple is testing my patience. forget it. i shall not touch it. shall be left in my own world. *畫圈圈* :P influenced by jia di~ LOL.

ok. time to be strong and be happy. i will find other things to do to entertainment myself~ laaaa~ :)

*每個人都是不完美的。但我的缺點，太多了吧 T.T*

2011-10-20T21:13:00.002+08:00
but i think i still can't get used to the silence. the silence that only i can break. the silence that stays if i have nothing to say. the silence. but i think it would be ok already. if it's something that i can't adapt for 2 years, then i dont have to force myself to adapt and accept. because i know i can never do it. so forget it! ^^

back to school for lessons day3~

2011-10-19T22:24:00.005+08:00
this psot was supposed to be long 'cause i got a lot to say :( but due to time constraint... haiyo. think shall continue this post in school! :) wifi please workkkk >.< both yesterday and today 8+ then reach home D: ahhh. anyway back to emo stuff...

i really. really decided not to run away today. but i still couldn't take it. hmm. which is weird. i came up with 2 reasons for it. 1 is 'cause i feel weird. 2 is 'cause i think you two should talk more. sometimes i think there's more of 1 but sometimes is more of 2. but sometimes is both. i have no idea. i can only constantly remind myself not to be stupid and selfish. but this time im really not walking away anymore. diedie. stay there like a statue. unless you mind. im really going to. persevere. >.< AHHHHHHHH.

but sometimes i really hate the situation. i hate how she's involved in everything. but i hate the other side of me too. but nvm. i will live with it and survive. yes i will survive. anyway, how can i ever die? it's one more week to holidays :) i need a job. i will find one by myself i hope. i dont know who to ask anyway. cant trouble others already :\ i need to kao zi ji already. stop relying!! freak me! i know freak isn't a nice and appropriate word to use but i use it quite a lot these few days ohno :X ahhhhhhhh.

*仰望夢，能給我力量，讓我堅強。。。*

2011-10-16T19:20:00.002+08:00
ahhhhhhhhh. i have loads of things to do for holiday!! >.< haizzz. shall list them down somewhere! :] BELOW!!!! LOL. eeee. then i have to remind myself actually i only got 2 months :X the list is as follows:

1. find a job to earn back the money i spent >.< ahhhh.

2. learn how to swim!!!! :O

3. learn some dance? (still considering haha)

4. finish all the dramas that i want to watch D: got too many ahhh T.T

5. learn basic jappp :( (read and write)

6. go out with peopleeee :\

7. make my flame wiz 3rd job? LOL.

i guess that's all~ suddenly the list doesnt seem so long HAHA. buttt. i still dont have much time to complete everything D: haha.

ohhh anyway tmr is the horror day!!! i guess scripts are coming back T.T haizzz. prayyy. prayy that my hardwork will pay off :\ pray that everything will be alright too!! ahhhhhhhh. last 2 weeks :O jiayouuu!!!!

Post Exam Activities :D hee!

2011-10-15T21:17:00.005+08:00
ok time for sharingggggggg.~ woots! ^^ hmmhmm. on wedwed :P what did we do uhh?! hmm. erm on weddd!

WED (post exam activity 1):
had soccer!!! both dry and wet de!!! LOL :P the dry one was quite exciting! i joined in the wet one in the end! TIO CONNED BY DOGGIE. but anyway :) i didnt regret and was glad that i got cheated! haha. x) 'cause it was SUPER FUNNNN!!!! woots :D heee! i ran with caution but fell down once T.T haizzzz. but another guy fell with me yeaaa ^^ ohh but i kept screaming like a typical girl. omg. :O i dont usually scream unless it's night trail or something!! AHHHHH :O something is wrong with me. ewwww! but anyway really had fun! ^^ lala~

THURS (post exam activity 2):
YOUTH FLYING CLUB CAME!!! OMGGG. like so COOL ^^ OMG. but i obviously lost the chance to go because my eyes are 800 degrees each >.< HAIZ. BUT SO COOL! ahhhh. too bad marion one eye 600 degrees! was busy laughing at her yooo :P HEEEE!

thenthen. discovery centre! made that I DONT WHAT IT IS CALLED THING T.T OMG. wait wait. photo photo!!!

HEEE THE ONE I MADE! with beans inside x) LALA~ IT'S SO NICEEEE I KNOWWWW :D HEEEEE. <3 but there was not enough time to do everything :( sadsad. :\ but then i got reminded of a game that i used to play in primary school! but i forgot how to play it now :( awww. didnt get to play the slide ahhh >.<

FRI (post exam activity 3):
flea market! nothing much to say 'cause it was quite a boring day. just suffered the whole day practically. and got conned by yue ling to play her game. humphhh. but ok laa at least got to try baseball, tennis and golf! although the golf super cheat but nvm :O at least got play ^^ haha. quite funn~ and went sumo~ :) ahhhh. makes me want to learn jap even more!!! D:

ok i think that's all~ ohhohh i finally got to eat the je mee siam!!! :D but the auntie super dao and anyhow add chilli humph! >:( but the mee siam was niceee :D LOL. ahhh i deleted the photo by accident in the post! upload it next time! :)

2011-10-14T16:44:00.006+08:00
EEYORE AT $1!!! :O haiz didnt bring money down T.T saddddddddddd D:

2011-10-11T14:15:00.004+08:00
and thats why i always thought if only i had unlimited sms. so that i can keep it touch with them. but then i thought again. if our friendship can only be sustained using sms, then it's quite a failure. so i gave up on them.

but. i dont sms to you just because i want to sustain our friendship luh. i mean. for us is different. i sms 'cause i really have something nice to share or just being overly high, or just to express concern.

anyway i understand your point. i think my sms really cmi. ohwell.

*and i really didnt think that i was THAT superficial. ohwell. explaining made things worse.*

END OF EOYYYYYYY xDD

2011-10-10T22:05:00.007+08:00
YAYYYYYY! FINALLLLLYYYYYY. everything is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :D WOOTS! HIGH! x)

LALALA! ^^ YAYYYYY. talked about so manyyyyyyyyy things today!! LOL. x) aawwww.

不要有那麽多希望，就不會失望，不是嗎？我還在期待什麽？像個傻瓜。。。

不敢想象以後的生活，只能告訴自己，不會有事的。。。

她的可愛，是每人能取代的。可我，卻因爲心裏的惡魔，忽略了這一切，直到今天才發現。。。

因爲你還是不了解，而我，也不會了解。一切就這樣算了，算了。

我不知道在努力什麽。也許心裏已明白會得到的結果。

我真的能接受嗎？能嗎？

I WASN'T WATCHING TV. you didn't even bother to tell, right? sharing. if you really understood. or maybe you didnt see that post. loll. when i saw that she was the one who said i wasn't there not you, all i thought was, oh.

*躲在角落，不一定是爲了要別人發現你。有時，你只是要靜一靜罷了。*

忘記是藉口還是理由？

2011-10-07T21:06:00.002+08:00
我大概想通了。忘記了，並不代表我不重要，只是沒那麽重要而已。這樣也好，讓我明年不會抱著那麽大的期望。。。不同班就是不一樣吧？因爲同班，所以有壓力。反正不同班都不會見面，就算了。也許。

計算著日後的生活，一個人的生活。如果把我丟在一個陌生環境，也許我也不交朋友了。反正都是一樣的。

一個人這麽做已經很痛了。想想三個人造成的傷害，會有多大。。。

*我就是小氣。就是在意。就是無法忘記。*

以爲不痛了，卻還在哭著。

2011-10-06T10:47:00.003+08:00
那天在微博看到的。。。對了，別等了。如果這是你的決定，也就算了。因爲對待他你絕對不會這樣。得看開了。

還以爲過了就算了。這是假的。還是很在意。因爲在跟她說的時候，我又哭了。至少我認清了。慢慢的，就能學會放手。。。

也許一年后，你也會和她們一樣。。。忘了。

考試不是個藉口。

或許我錯了，我找到了和我有同樣信念的人。

when my birthday is already as sad as it is, all of you had to add on to it.

*Pessimism. but i have to move on and STUDY BIO!!!! :(*

祝我傷日快樂。

2011-10-05T21:54:00.003+08:00
In order of prize giving~
THANKS YUN XUANNNN :DDDDDDDDDDD !!!!!!! (although yours super earlyyy :P)
THANKS DOGGIEEEEEEEEE <33333333333 !!!!!!!
THANKS SISTAAAAAAAA <333333333333 !!!!!
THANKS ESTHAAA AND JIA YI FOR YOUR WISHHHHHHESSSS ^^ !!!!!
THANKS MUMMYYYYYY <3333333333333 !!!!!!!

all these would not have been possible if not for all of you! thanks x)

真的很失望。失望不在于禮物，而是祝福。連一聲都沒有。曾以爲我們是那麽的要好，沒想過你們會忘記。忘記，很簡單。拿考試當原因就行了嘛。打四個字那麽難嗎？大概不會花上你一分鐘吧。對不起我無法接受考試這種爛理由。也許，還找不到一個和我與同樣信念的人吧。前天，我告訴自己別再期待什麽。因爲我知道考試期間，每個人都只會顧著應付考試，誰管你生日啊？可是，我仍選擇相信你們不會忘記。結果。。。我該說什麽呢？也許我不該拿今天來判斷一切，但回想起你看到我卻什麽也不記得時，我真的，心灰了。

*我很單純，甚至可以說很愚蠢地認爲，我不需要哪些虛僞的祝福。也許我錯了，因爲我也是個虛僞的人，需要假惺惺的安慰。*

2011-10-04T15:17:00.003+08:00
i should think so much anymore... NIGHTMARES. AGAIN. -.- haizzz. :( noooo! >.<

i dont know if this irritates you... because i remembered what you said about her... i hope not :X maybe i should ask you. maybe i should just care about my own life instead of poking into your affairs!! >:O i dont know ahhhh....

只想在你面前做自己!!!

不知道再期待什麽，畢竟我在你心中只是一個。。。曾經同班的同學。就這樣而已。

看見她的笑容，我很開心。我希望自己真的能別再那麽自私。因爲只有這樣的自己，我才會快樂，才能帶給別人快樂。。。

*今天，我不顧自己的情緒勇敢地踏出第一步，而我，成功了。因爲我看見你臉上的笑容。。。:)*

2011-10-02T19:56:00.002+08:00
After thinking through a lot more, I think everything is not so bad.. So long as I dont care some of the things... :X somemore to say the truth, guys are a lot better than girls... 男人总比女人还不小心眼，更容易让你敞开心胸。。。and it's quite interesting to share.such a secret loll... I don't know. Sudden optimism.. Though it wont last long.... :X haiz. Nvm ba. Jia Ying shall relax and have a less rubbish mind!!!! :( still considering if I should delete it,since you haven't seen it... But I guess I shouldn't, because those are words that I can never say out... :\ hmm. That day is coming... Can't say that I'm not excited la cos I really am... :O rubbish meeeeee!!!

450th post! :X

2011-10-01T17:34:00.004+08:00
After writing so much.. I guess I'm still ok with it if I'm in an extremely good mood? :\
And I realised I have to believe that you are careful in trusting people right? when it's supposingly hard to get your trust, right? Im not sure. But maybe Im still going for something. Didn't really give up. Ugh. So disgusted with myself.

2011-09-30T22:21:00.000+08:00
22.22! :)

2011-09-30T19:07:00.007+08:00
Maybe I should reply to some things you said. I rather you say out what you feel. And I'm saying everything I feel now. Not too pleasant right? And the phone. Just because shes not very very important to me so I dont really care. And I got used to it anyway. We said about this before. When you mass sms jl that time. I told you. And now you can sms him but talk to me. You can take the initiative to share things with him but me. somewhat like that time you said I could talk to anyone but you. It's the same isn't it?

But I guess these won't be problems since we are separating... I'm saying this because if we don't meet often these won't be problems I guess. I don't wish for anything already don't worry. I guess it is good enough if we can be happy for the next month. Sharing, initiatives, I won't be expecting anything anymore. You can face your phone. You can do whatever you want. I won't be so selfish to want all your attention anymore. it's time for you to put attention on other people other things.

But if you ever need a shoulder, need an ear, need a hug, need someone, I will still be here. Though I dont think I would be needed anyway to say the truth.

Am crying so hard after writing all these, but I guess it's exam stress. Maybe I'm crying for 明明 too haha.

Maybe I'm still not immuned yet, if it hurts. Though I have not been crying.

I dont know how much these would hurt you, but maybe i know. But im sorry, i couldn't control my emotions...

一个人可以很热情，但单靠一个人的热情是不够的。对不起，我真的尽力了。我尽了全力想在你身边，已精疲力尽。。。

*倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有。*

2011-09-30T15:08:00.003+08:00
Just now was deciding what to eat.. Decided on bubble tea though I drank it yesterday!! Somemore milk tea again!!! Haha :\ then I realised that shop so poor thing!!! Cos of sod then nobody there D: aiyo. It's not that bad!!! So I decided not to buy sweet talk haha. But it has been a long time since I bought sweet talk bubble tea :X anyway my main point is,the auntie very nice!!! :) and when she saw me she was so happy loll! (then it reminded me of you what the :\ ) she's so nice!!!! :D still say thank you when I left :) when I look at those sod people I realised they look dao humph. Haha.

Only 3 papers passed and many of us are slacking oops :( aiyo.

*我会无视你对他的热情，对我的冷漠。*

Maybe I was jealous. Because I always wanted one. But nobody ever came. But now. Somehow I feel that you trust him too easily. But having a companion is better than having none right? Nvm. I'm just worrying too much and being dumb over here! :)

2011-09-30T09:50:00.004+08:00
Maybe I got the answer I wanted. Maybe I knew the answer. nothing is too hurting. Just that I need to accept the truth andthat everything is different from now on. Everything.

You can make the initiative. You can. It's only whether you want or not.

Actually it's better for you. Better by alot.

But everything just came crashing down.

No time to cry. no time. I'm immuned to not crying anyway.

Keep the fighting spirit on!!!! :)

2011-09-29T22:51:00.002+08:00
Not just when we meet. I don't blame you for not talking when we meet because you said that you won't talk if you got nothing to say. But when we don't meet, I'm still the one taking the initiative. Maybe you are not like that. Maybe it's just me being overly high. Or maybe we are seeing each other almost everyday so you don't find the need to. Or maybe. It's just that you got nothing to say or share.

Have you ever thought why I note down things I want to tell you? They are not solely to fill up the silence between us. Because I want to share them with you. First. So I need to make myself remember by noting them down if there are toomany events. Sharing.

就这么简单。

we are still miles apart.

2011-09-29T17:17:00.003+08:00
all i wanted. 只是一句“____ 很好笑耶我明天告訴你”just a sentence to show me that you want to share. but no. then i asked myself, what was my first reaction then? to sms and tell you even i commented. wow. what a difference. but everything doesn't make a difference now anyway. i should have known better.

if i didnt make the first move, would you even bother to type something? yeaa maybe you are not that type. but i dont see why you cant when you can do it with other people. loll.

*shit you ong jia ying. stop making the wrong decisions. shit you. (no offence to anyone out there called ong jia ying too... :X*

**and shit me. 'cause now not even Qiao En and He Jun Xiang can save me.**

- i can only be drowned in exams.exams.exams. and pray hard that i will forget everything meanwhile.

2011-09-29T15:49:00.002+08:00
Don't know if I should include exams as school day but I think I shouldn't! Lazy to count anyway :) I promised to be less stupid already.. Think I shouldn't end up as a clown anymore... Ok. Shall not regret. Leave with it.

我会当作没看见。没看见。没关系。还是那句，习惯就好。

*无法计算我做了多少愚蠢的事，但一切都该到此为止。我不该那么自私，因为自己的固执。*

2011-09-28T20:12:00.003+08:00
So maybe it's true. I don't feel like doing anything now cos I feel a little stupid... Just being a little pessimistic over here... But I will be fine :) so don't be too concerned if you see this! But then. I have to make a choice now... To do or not to... Haiz. It's abit tiring but.... Let me hope it's worth it and I'm not making the wrong choice... :X

*凡事都不要抱太大的希望。因为换来的除了失望还是失望。。。*

It's studying time! No time to be emo! :)

Can't post pic here aiya! :( nvm! Happy! :D

144!

2011-09-23T18:06:00.003+08:00
at least she made you laugh. at least she could do something when you are feeling down. at least. you can be happy 'cause of what she did, it's just your choice to be happy or not... whether you want to accept it or not. maybe she dont understand you, but do i? do i understand? how many times have you not told me how you felt? maybe i still didn't do what you expected, so you gave up on telling. maybe it's my fault for saying how i feel everytime, but do i even have the right to be angry or sad? i find myself very ridiculous at those times so i kept quiet. because i dont want my retarded thoughts to affect your feelings.

因爲沒有人會了解。也包括我嗎？

只要刺蝟能敞開心胸接受白兔，也許就會發現她的好。刺蝟的秘密，沒人知道，包括烏龜。

i remember you told me a lot of times what to do but im still not doing them. i still made you sad. and what makes you think you are at fault? i dont have the courage to do all those.

just like how i wanted to stand beside you today but failed. when i saw how she walked slower and slower i couldnt take it. i left. thinking it would be better off like that. maybe i was wrong. after that again, i tried to stand closer. but i failed again. because i dont know how to get close to someone who is staring at the screen. maybe you really had nothing to do. maybe you really had an important message. maybe you dont mind me staring at the screen. but it's still awkward. 我無法若無其事地站在旁邊。原本想靜靜地站在身旁，卻無法當作看不見。

也許我就是一個麻煩的人。也許我更該有勇氣握著你的手，說沒事的。

不管結局怎麽樣，我們還是無法忽視白兔的存在吧？

last post before exams! 要等我回來哦親愛的blog ^^ 也許會回來PO一些話，再説吧! :)

*做了錯的決定，就必須承擔後果。。。*

烏龜和刺蝟。

2011-09-22T18:55:00.004+08:00
一天，烏龜遇見了刺蝟。雖然它們的個性截然不同，但漸漸地一起笑，一起瘋狂。它們見面的機會很少，所以非常珍惜每次見面的時候，總是笑著。。。但後來，烏龜和刺蝟終于有了天天相處的機會。原本期待的烏龜，沒料到這個命運的安排，卻改變了一切。起初烏龜和刺蝟天天相處的時候，依然是非常快樂的。但久而久之，它們開始看見彼此的缺點。後來，它們常吵架。但吵了之後，它們知道對方在自己的心中還是很重要的。
再久一些，烏龜和刺蝟漸漸不吵了。就算發生了事，也當作沒事一樣。烏龜不說，刺蝟再也不問了。烏龜也決定了，若沒說，就別問。因爲烏龜覺得自己快要變成一只雞了。可是其實，烏龜和刺蝟雖然都沒說，但常常都在想，對方在想什麽呢？這時的烏龜好依賴刺蝟，刺蝟也說它好依賴烏龜。
一天一天過去了。慢慢的，烏龜老愛把自己縮起來。雖然很討厭這樣的自己，還是會那麽做。刺蝟呢，身上的刺慢慢地消失了。很多人喜歡刺蝟了，刺蝟更會開心地笑了。烏龜依然選擇在不知所措的時候縮起來以逃避來面對。。。
這時，白兔出現了。她很可愛，雖然有時很糊塗，但傻得可愛。刺蝟和白兔相處得很好。刺蝟總會笑得那麽開心，烏龜想著。烏龜自以爲是地把刺蝟推給白兔，認爲這樣刺蝟會開心些。也許烏龜錯了。但刺蝟在白兔身邊一定都會笑得很開心，因爲白兔帶來的快樂，是會讓人發自内心地笑的。烏龜知道，因爲白兔很單純，像天使一樣。烏龜了解到，也許有些距離是好的。
但這時，烏龜和刺蝟快要分開了。再也不過著天天在一起的日子。烏龜意識到。也許，接下來的日子，只看得見刺蝟和白兔，看不見自己。因爲烏龜和刺蝟已達成了共識-白兔對刺蝟的依賴，是事實，不能避免，也不能逃避。所以現在，烏龜只能想盡辦法讓自己適應以後的生活，再也沒有刺蝟的生活。

你傷心，生氣，受傷的時候，我無法讓你快樂些。同樣的，我期待的那份溫暖也只不過是一種期待。我們都無法了解彼此，即使到了現在。蠍子和天平應該不適合的。我們都盡力證明了這句話不是真的，但我們盡力了，結局，還是如此。

有時，不一定是你錯了。有時，不一定是別人的問題。有時，最令人討厭的是自己。那個，懦弱，沒勇氣，只顧著想太多的自己。

-發洩完畢，復習咯!!! :)-

彩虹的微笑~ <3

*和最熟悉的陌生人走在熟悉的路途，感覺卻截然不同。畢竟過去的，真的過去了。*

143!

2011-09-22T09:23:00.004+08:00
在那当下，字典里只剩下完了这两个字。。。不知道为什么超想哭的。。。:X

不想再去想明年的事。。。恶梦别来了!!!!! 不想让你后悔。。。

也许你不需要我了，也许我不该这么想，也许不是真的。。。
也许有点距离是好的。也许。

没关系，你有的我也不缺，不需要那么感伤! :) 所以我能“以牙還牙”! :)

*心情无缘无故地低落，对自己的孤单，感到有些莫名的哀伤。。。几米。*

141~

2011-09-20T20:50:00.003+08:00
FULL OF ENERGYYYY!!! TO STUDDYYY! ^^ YAYYYYY <3 LOL. :P

SO SWEET <3 ^^
back to work!!! :)

really hate myself for poking my noseeee into everryyyyyythinggggg. stop it. i shall just focus on myself. and not be a busybody :) lalala~

*JiaHappyPig*

140... :)

2011-09-19T16:03:00.003+08:00
today as usual, it was raining. haiz. stop raining!!! :O then i realised how stupid it was. 'cause i like her a lot again today. a lot. she's like, an angel. then there i am, being overly stupid and retarded. sianz. i know my dislike wont stay for long. but my dislike for myself grows everyday. haha :P and my love for qiao en never dies~ (random D:) <3 and the newly joined he jun xiang :) haha. ok. this is really random. but then. if i start behaving weird again. i shall ignore myself. and doggie shall ignore me too! being not nice to her is not really fair ahhhhh. when it's my own problem. ok. set. Jia Ying shall be retarded no more. !!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH.

really want to spam yesterday's picture but i shouldnt spam their photo in every entry right? LOL. BUT THEY ARE REALLLY. SWEEETTTTTTTTTT :D AHHHH. IM SO SORRY MR XIAO GUI BUT OMGGGG HE JUN XIANGGGGG AND HER IS JUST SO SWEET! ^^ HAHA.

~<3 翔琳戀 LOL. my own name for them x)

*單純的你，單純的心。*

2011-09-18T19:04:00.003+08:00
:) SWEEET!!!! ^^ <3

必須收拾心情迎接新的一天。。。別管她是好人或壞人了。。。有什麽事明年再説吧。。。:\ 如果能無憂無慮地過每一天。。。如果能白癡地過每一天。。。如果每天都快樂就好了。

我不要淘氣生氣小氣我要勇氣志氣骨氣

*帶著複雜的心情，才了解，心裏住著惡魔的人不是她，是我。*

139!!

2011-09-16T21:43:00.003+08:00
i really hope that my mood would be stable so that i would be able to give and not be 賣魚~ but some badbad doggie is not cooperating! >:( when 本小姐心情好 you know~ must cooperate ma! :) haiyo!

no wonder i felt that there is something that i missed today. your birthday! LOL. omg :X ahhh. only when i saw his message then i was like OHHH YAAA HORRR. oops :\

it's mugging time! one week+ left :(

*好久沒有這樣笑過了，謝謝。*

138..

2011-09-15T20:40:00.002+08:00
have used finished all my good and happy luck... :( haiz.
thanks for ignoring me anyway. so that i dont have to try so hard to convince myself that you are really nice. just that i have to suffer for the next two years, that's all.

while Jia Ying is busy being unhappy, she has no time left -.- haiz.

BUT ANYWAY! she studied CHEM today! :) YAYY. with Hui Ling ^^

although im unhappy about her, i know this feeling would disappear soon and i will scold myself for being so evil. sianz.

*對不起我還是無法接受被忽略的感覺。*

Day 137! :]

2011-09-14T16:51:00.003+08:00
HEEE~ :D
i know i shouldnt be here but the Mr Puden said that we can blogggg about our feeelingggsss right? :P LOL. not using him as an excuse, BUT. IM REALLY HAPPY TODAYYYY ^^ WOOTS~ HIGH. HIGH. HIGH. OVERLY HIGH!!!! even doggie almost fainted :P heeee~ OK ANNOUNCEEEEEEMENTTTT!!!!!!!!

FIRSTTTTTT.
I BLOCKKKKEDD A BALLLLLLL USING MY SHOULDER :P OMG. i suan until so zhun. i stared at him and thought: he confirm wont kick high de! THEN. YUPPP! it smacked right on my shoulder! LOL. HE FAILLLLL :) haha. woots~ most successful blocking! yayy~ and i attempted to kick in lehh :) and teacher said good one! yayy! :) haha.

SECONDDDDDDD.
THOUGHT I DIDNT BRING MATH BUT TADAAAAA DOGGIE FOUND IT :) HEE~ :D :P

THIRDDDDDDD.
BOUGHT SWEETY'S CD AT........... $1! >.<||| haiyaa! i thought i would never ever see their cd! but saw it at TS! :) and then omg $1 :X ahhhhh. thanks doggie for picking that out and said 有很多twins的cd! HAHA x) OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. <3

FORTHHHHHHHHH.
I THOUGHT I LOST MY ENG NOTEBOOOK. BUT I FOUND IT!!!!! OMGGGG. I KNEW IT WAS IN MY HOUSE T.T just that i 翻箱倒櫃 the wrong place >.< forgot i put it with chem and bio stuff... :\ aiyoo.

OMG I SO HIGH NOW!!!! and out of the 4 very happy things today, 2 is 'cause of DOGGGIEEEEE LEHHH! FEEL HONOURED ^^ <3 YAYYYY! :)

*因爲有你，謝謝 <3*

Day 136~

2011-09-13T21:13:00.002+08:00
back to school! things are not that bad... but still. :X lessonss... :O haiz.

AND ENG IS SO HARD!!! :( SAD.

and i cant find my eng notebook. but i have all the eng ws? -.- WHAT THE. like that i confirm die for eng liao :X all my notes T.T haiz. turned the whole house upside down already. :( *prayyyy* >.<

*我真的很快樂。真的。但建立在自私的快樂，真的容許我快樂嗎？快樂的當兒，忽略了許多。真的，可以嗎。。。？
*

2011-09-11T11:28:00.003+08:00
samsung galaxy mini! <3 ^^ hee~ :D WHITEEE!!! OMGGGG :P YAYY! :)

*if only you knew how to look back and understand the real meaning...*

迷惑

2011-09-09T21:42:00.004+08:00
如果一個人已開始有了好的念頭，但想久了腦海裏卻出現了坏的念頭，可是最後做的決定卻是依照一開始的想法，那麽這個人是好是坏？

很亂吧，我知道。我也困擾了很久。。。

開心一下吧! :)

*我已學會了怎麽對付你這種人-你怎麽對我我就怎麽對你。*

getting a new life...

2011-09-09T17:58:00.006+08:00
YUPP! im starting a new life! of being a mugger :P hee~ :D mugger life...! >.< haiz. but i dont have much time left and im only starting the new life now... not even now though- i wasted my life today AGAIN. -.- and i played till i felt tired.. not that i feel tired so i played. weird right? :O haiz. MATHHH T.T and BIOOOOO :( KILLER TOPICS. IM NOT GOING TO DIE. I WONT SUCCUMB TO THEM :D YAYY! JIA YING IS GOING TO SAY, SHE CAN DO IT. YES SHE CAN. AHHH DUHHHH. ITSSSS 王佳穎 ^^ LOL. :P moral booossst. ohh. things i need to do everyday :)

1. BIO- 2 topics

2. CHEM- 2 topics

3. ENGLISH-3 TIMES ARTICLES

4. CHINESE- Collate phrases from 3 passages. (i did 報章報道 already YAYY xPP)

5. MATH- 3 topics

i guess that's all? :O and i only have so little time to do :( anyway, all that are subjected to changes because if some i can remember more then can add another topic on that day x) YES. im going to mark down what i do! woots~ ^^

i need to focus. i need to stop slacking. i need to stop being negative. i need to be brave. i need to be happy. please. i need to survive. no time to be sad. no time to fear. no time to cry. i need to lead a new life.

*矛盾。腦子一片混亂。卻只能告訴自己，沒事的，是我想太多。*

how disappointed i was. but everything is hidden.

i ask myself if this decision is right. sacrificing our time, giving you to her. for the next two years, it will never be the same. it's still you with her. i guess. the only thing i can do now is to study to keep my mind off rubbish. yupp. the only thing i can do. so i shouldnt think twice about this decision. i hope it really benefits me. although it's late for me to start now :( haiz. lousy discipline of Jia Ying T.T

and all the nightmares just come, seeing you with her. im dying. can even be haunted by this kind of stuff -.- i mistaken a kind soul once, so i wont do that for the 2nd time. i chose to believe in you. so dont disappoint me please. and let me end up knowing that i was a fool.

LuvDoraemonAndTaiwanDramas XD

confused.lost. broken.

520th post :D

HAPPY CNY! :)

CNY + SCHOOL ANNIVERSARY CONCERT!

:)

happy schooooolll life :)

:O tiredtiredtired.

busybusy life :(

sadddd :(

Happy new year!!

cmi :((

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! xDD (and happy boxing day...)

memorable day? LOL.

PICS PICS AND PICS! xDD

my no life life begins next year...

TAN KAH PO xDD

my dec life.

class chalet!

bookfest!

BACK TO BAIN! xDD

LONG POSTTTTTT xDD *dont sleep* LALALA xPP

laziness killss....

im lazy to put titles nowadays... :(

the other side.

DEARESTTTTTT DOGGIEEEEE xDD (L)

rotting~

back to school for lessons day3~

Post Exam Activities :D hee!

END OF EOYYYYYYY xDD

忘記是藉口還是理由？

以爲不痛了，卻還在哭著。

祝我傷日快樂。

450th post! :X

we are still miles apart.

144!

烏龜和刺蝟。

143!

141~

140... :)

139!!

138..

Day 137! :]

Day 136~

迷惑

getting a new life...

LONG POSTTTTTT xDD dont sleep LALALA xPP